first post

Despite what they might say in Bangalore India is not that technically advanced it’s taken us three nights to get internet and then it’s so slow that I loaded 10 photos last night only to find that during the night they have spilled out from my computer and must be washing around somewhere in that glorious but frustrating cloud

Let’s get you up to date

The journey Taunton to Birmingham despite all my worries were a dream that’s if I keep it quiet that they had problems starting the coach in the morning

Sorry to all of Hilary road for waking them at silly o clock but that’s why we couldn’t turn the bus off

Birmingham airport and the plane trip with Emirates was a breeze but that was just leading us into a sense of false security.

First problem well it’s like this my sister, bless her she is busy looking after the little, well not so little Kemps back home gave, lent, lost to me an old travelling suitcase, a lovely hard plastic affair which was going to be ideal for the event to house all the electrical gadgets I was taking. it has plastic catches which lock the suitcase and the middle one even has a combination lock, now don’t know why but let say I never asked for the combination,( if you do know it text me it).

Now let’s get down to the cold facts, I don’t know if you know this but these locks are not that good because they have to have a bypass key so security can open them if necessary which is obviously what they did, It was unlocked so why shouldn’t they and especially as it was full of Gps and cameras   but why they lock the bloody thing with only one person who happened to be in Turkey knowing the code. Anyway despite the diplomatic incident when Elona demanded that the security at the E visa terminal looked at her whilst speaking to her we all managed to “Enter" India for a period of Thirty days”

But let’s get back to the luggage now I don’t know how the Indians  manage but as we walked down the stairs to luggage collection one of the Warrs suitcases resplendent with its pink gaffer tape purchased especially for this trip was waltzing around the carousel, all the other suitcases took an  age to come through and it’s my theory, having watched the Stanford experiment on the plane that there was a massive psychological experiment taking place depriving us a group of our luggage and then observing the behaviour of those waiting

Everyone started very positive” well if we got one case then we will get them all” then cracks started to appear, I think it was Roger and Andy that cracked first, “they have left them In Dubai” slowly mass hysteria went through the group until the unflappable Kathy broke down in a sobbing mess, no she didn’t she just asked what would happen if they didn’t come.

Even I broke and walked to the start of the carousel, I don’t know if there is an official name for this point, the point where your bags are disgorged from that unseen depth, let call it for fun The anus, anyway I went to the anus and looked back up into its depth somewhat like a visual prostate examination and what did I see rows and rows of Pink gaffer tape right up inside pass the point where you can itch but making its way. Thumbs up problem over. Well no

Some of the cases including my nice new second hand hard luggage case had chalk marks, someone had dared to add to my marking system and someone was going to pay for those marks, what I didn’t know was it was going to be me.

Whilst all this was happening there was also another Mini happening. Adie like me had managed to miss the E visa saga and as a result was my right-hand man at the luggage point and between us we had decided to grab half a dozen baggage trolleys which he defended like an ancient Gaul. There was always someone who decided that Adian stack of trolleys was closer then the official stacks about 10 feet further away.  Yet another psychological experiment could have taken place here first Aide would politely explain that we had a rather amount of luggage and need this many trolleys  and would they might getting one from the stack ten feet further, all very dignified. The problem was that whilst he was doing this at one end of his stack some bastard was taking them from the other.

Aide quickly, well far slower that I would have but nevertheless soon resorted to telling them firmly to go away and get your own. Sorry Aide but although you lasted far longer than me you failed that experiment and showed you reverted to your primeval instincts of "this is mine" but hats off to you better than me.

Ok where was I chalk marks, ok so we have now loaded up all the luggage onto Adie’s trolleys, only to find he had two more than he needed, bet you feel bad about sending the one legged nun away now don’t you Ade. As we walked out the final of possible thirty checks Clayton and I were pulled out of the line.

It appears the chalk marks where there for reason and this was it “open cases” this man meant business, ok we had nothing to hide except enough GPS units to start a Gps shop, 8 I think I added up. Why so many   Well three of the units are with cameras and then there are two for my bike oh and one unit that... as I was speaking I remembered that one of the units was an Indian MAP MY INDIA which I had purchased in India several years before and was told not to take it out of India as there may be customs problems, so I changed my explanation into blithering “and there is another” “Open”, “ER I don’t know the code” obviously when they opened it earlier they had locked it and set the bloody code,  me “cant” him “open” me “screwdriver” eventually we found a screwdriver and, as I have always said its  useless locking them it two shakes we were in.

Well let’s say what happened was a compromise we, Clayton and myself had to write a declaration that everything was ours and that we would not use it against the state and that  we were very very naughty boys, as the customs officer dictated what we had to write I had a flash back to those school days and half expected to be told to write it out one hundred times before lunch.

Anyway to skip as its breakfast time< fourth hotel two nice one not so nice and one “well it had a nice view”